Toe that was not sewn together

In this blog I am writing a brief English review of the Malayalam book "തുന്നി ചേർക്കാത്ത വിരൽ  " ( Toe that was not sewn together) penned as a memoir by the author Kaavalloore Muraleedharan who lives and works in Saudi Arabia. The book traces his early life  in Kerala,  three years of work in the then Bombay and life in the Gulf. It also includes account of short travels undertaken by the author in Kerala,  to places like Rameshwaram, Tamil Nādu and Chirapunji, Assam.

In the initial part of the book the author reminisces about his father, K.R. Velayudhan who left for Sri Lanka at the tender age of fourteen in search of a better life only to return to India on a call given by India's first PM, Nehru to come back and serve one's country. He therefore came back and worked at the Bhilai Steel Plant till retirement. Thoughts of his father floods the mind of the author even as he travels from gulf to meet his ailing father. The journey is tough as it is undertaken during the Covid pandemic when a lot of protocols were required to be followed while travelling. 

The author is proud of his father whom he calls an "Institution" who gained  knowledge from a vociferous reading habit and down to earth experience from day to day living . Although, he laments that he could not spend sufficient time to get transferred the deep learning from his father, the author was able to be by the side of his father and do all the ceremonies on his passing away , in spite of working in a far off country .  

One thing that comes through clearly from the book is that Mr Muraleedharan makes friends easily and also cherishes relationships. He has a big heart to help others when ever and which ever way he can, be it those coming for the first time for job to Gulf or an old sickly man he meets at Farooke railway station in Kerala, India.  

We have generally known that those migrating to the deserts of Gulf do so initially with an intent of a short stint of two years. Unlike those going to the Western countries, people travelling to Gulf for employment  almost invariably daydream of returning to their village and savoring the greenery and calm, quiet lifestyle they left behind. That they are not able to do so because of the various compulsions to earn money for the welfare of loved ones back home is the big tragedy that many experience. This melancholic tone and mood can be be seen whole through the book whether the author is discussing his own circumstances or that of friends seemingly trapped in a vicious circle. 

For me, the caricatures Mr Muraleedharan has drawn  of the many people met at various points of his life journey  was very engaging and heart touching. As for example there is Bhuyyan, a young bright Bangladeshi who left his home town due to frequent riots and an ardent desire to build a pucca house for his mother in place of the one made of wooden planks. One day a letter arrives informing that his mother died when rioters set fire to their house. Bhuyyan quickly decides to return as his very purpose of coming was defeated with the death of his mother. This was a story however with a happy ending in the sense, on return he started doing cloth business with an Indian company and later moved to Shillong in India where his business flourished. Now, he runs a home for women in his mother's name and has the satisfaction of giving solace to not just one mother but 50 mothers. 

There is another narration of a muscleman labourer who as the lift was not working carried fridge and other heavy furniture to the author's  office located on the 7th floor. He was called "Pathan" by everyone on account of his huge size. When the work was completed, the man revealed that he was in fact a malayali and that he opted to do this heavy work since he wanted to fulfill  his son's wish (back home) for a toy JCB . 

Another story that touched my heart was that of Abdu Bhai with whom the author has a chance meeting at the multi storied building housing many offices. Abdu had worked for decades in Saudi , made money and returned to his native Palakkad in Kerala. There he did business, incurred losses and was back to the desert in 5 years time, starting afresh as a driver in his old age with many ailments. "Sometimes I wonder, why did I even come here in the first place. If I had bought an autorickshaw and drove it there, I could at least have spent  my peak years with family." Abdu Bhai sighed. 

There are many more touching narratives in the book including a hint of a romantic interest of the author from his youth. It is clear that Covid 19 pandemic was a big blow with thousands of employees returning to their native land. Those who got the opportunity to continue were under pressure and tension as service was extended on a month to month basis. This uncertainty was a psychologically crippling experience for everyone including the author.   

Finally, a couple of lines on the title of the book: "Toe that was not sewn together". In the initial part of the book,  Mr Muraleedharan relates an incident of his father  being accidently hurt while untying a cow that sped away fast. During the fall the little toe of the left leg of father got dismembered. Although crying out in pain and seeing  the toe lying around, father just got up and came home not listening to a neighbour's offer to go with him to hospital and get the toe sewed back. 

To my mind, the title is not derived only from this incident, it appears also to be a metaphor for the pain, loneliness and dismembered feel of a Gulf Malayali who yearns for his native place but is forced to live elsewhere by force of circumstances. In the chapter "Those Returning", there is a scene at the airport where the author is seeing off a junior colleague Rana  returning to his native, Nepal for good. While waving final good bye, the thought that ran in his mind was " I also came here like Rana to spend 2 years. The 2 years then became 10. then 20 and  is still continuing. Rana has escaped. When will my turn come?".

Gratitude Thoughts

The law of attraction, a concept 

enjoying high currency these days 

places "Gratitude" as the bedrock for attracting 

all good things we want, into our lives 

Looked at this way, we have so many things 

to be thankful, grateful for...

a roof above our head, a source of income

loving family, opportunity to write, recite poem

pursue our hobbies, irrespective of age 

Our lovely blue planet with its greenery 

sun, moon, stars, mountains, lakes 

 Our country with her rich tradition 

and great philosophy of one global family...

Now friends, for the solid, huge tip 

put all these and more of 

your special , personal gratitude points,

 down on paper, to read them twice 

in the morning on waking 

and in the night while retiring 

You first have to be grateful for the many

lovely things you already have in life 

to be able to attract more of what you want! 

Grateful people are blessed with positive emotions

better health, stronger relations and more satisfying lives ! 

NB: This poem was composed for and  recited during the Seniors Today online poetry meet on 19th September 2025

Secret Unravelled

Photo Courtesy by Andre Hunter on Unsplash  

Used to wonder how in a democracy 

the Government couldn't care less  of 

what the people thought or felt

how it  could ill treat, its citizens- After all it had to go

back to the people for validation periodically 

Was surprising and shocking to see violence 

directed at farmers,  job seekers 

at Olympic medalists, at peacefully protesting citizens

Well, now we know why

It's no longer a secret!

Summer holidays

Hostelers in a residential school

all excited on the approaching summer

"We are going for the summer holidays"

"We are going for the summer holidays"

they sang in unison, visualizing their own holiday


The common thread in each mind was

Back to “Home sweet home!"

some would go to the city, regale in its charm

others to ancestral home in a village

engage with parents, cousins, other relatives


Summer time, a warm and vibrant time

when the birds, the bees, all of creation

come out of hibernation to regale

in the warmth, the vibrancy of the season


Parents of each child came to fetch the children

who rushed into their arms in excitement

after all, it was summer time, holiday time

time to rejoice, fun, frolic


Everyone was thrilled and elated, except

for one puny boy who remained in his room

knowing no one was coming for him this day

may be the next day or the day after that

a servant would come to fetch him


Then it happened- best friend entered room with parents

they hugged him, gave him chocolates

and home-made goodies to eat

Dazzling Summer had arrived

a time to say good bye to misery, sad thoughts

 

The best friends danced with abandon

to the tune of the warm scintillating season

 
to the encouragement and delight of the adults!

NB: This Poem was written for the "Summer Sashay's - Breeze In " Anthology published by Soul Scribers society Salem and released on 11th July during the poetry fest at Panchgani, Maharashtra, India.

Summer Breeze has arrived

Losing one's job can be painful 

particularly when everything was looking good

Five years of work, a good designation, salary 

the girl friend eager and ready for the tying of knot 

he only had to say, give the green signal   

The tragedy came from out of the blue 

had him devastated, to the extent he stopped

talking, interacting with parents, friends 

even to sweetheart, one who mattered the most 

one who'd wowed to spend rest of life with him 

It was as if all energy, drive had deserted him 

all confidence had flown away , felt it wasn't right

to jeopardize the life of beloved 

ask her to wait for many more years 

"Move on" he messaged, "build your nest 

sans me a loser!" 

She was stunned, flabbergasted by behaviour

of one she knew like the back of her hand 

and now, this rejection, this avoidance

proved the most painful, unbearable 

From the last days of autumn and the whole of winter 

he spent days thus- beaten, drained

shorn of all confidence! 

mind had become blank, unable to take 

next step to beat the odds     

One day from his bedroom he heard

sounds of birds chirping happily 

he looked out and saw flowering trees 

squirrels running about, the sun shining in all glory 

Suddenly, it struck him that winter had left 

 and summer was back! was reminded of past summers 

when they had taken carefree strolls under smiling sun 

suddenly he longed to meet his girl, apologize 

beg her forgiveness for the cold period ! 

Before noon, there he was bouquet in hand 

surprising. shocking, yet enthusing his beloved

she rubbed her eyes slipped into a half belief smile 

Then stared and stared before falling into his arms!

Together they made plans for hunting and securing 

means of living- He was back to the old guy she knew

full of confidence and drive to meet all of life's challenges 

Yes, the summer breeze had arrived to bring along 

bright opportunities and self confidence to boot! 

NB: This Poem was written for the "Summer Sashay's - Breeze In " Anthology published by Soul Scribers society Salem and released on 11th July during the poetry fest at Panchgani, Maharashtra, India. 

Long Wait

For some, the long wait is never over

they are always in anticipation

hoping that the tide would change

perhaps, if this happens or that happens




Yet nothing ever does if you are

at the lower echelons, bottom of the pyramid

only the power wielders change- from kings

to white skinned sahibs to brown skinned ones




The powers that be, would like to keep them yoked

to use, manipulate, use as oxen to do their bidding

would like them to be unread, not be able to use head

ask questions, compare their lot with the chosen few

 

Therefore, close all doors of a possibility of higher education

is the sweet mantra used by manipulators, passed on

from generation to generation- ensuring the weak remain weak..




So, there they remain in eternal wait

for better days- economically, socially, spiritually

yes, a mirage, but they know not; Poor things can't

give up 'Hope', the only thing that they can cling to

during all seasons, at all times!

Eternal Search for Delicacies

"It seems Ajay is back in town" 

"Ajay who?" asked Greeshma 

"Our classmate in plus two" replied Lekha 

"You remember him, he was quite a handsome guy" 

"Oh, that introvert! He used to find excuses to talk to me, sometimes in the library, sometimes in the canteen. Then once he opened his mouth, no word would come out." 

"Can't blame him. After all, you were the beauty queen of the college with so many guys pursuing you. 

"Those were fun times, a glorious period while it lasted " 

" Three of our seven member Girls' gang are already married Greeshma. Two have taken a considered decision to not marry at all. That leaves the two of us" 

"Who are neither here or there! We have not married nor have we said we will never marry. Yet here we are, all of 29 and soon to touch the 30 landmark"

"Well, in your case Greeshma, it was not for want of suitors. You turned down so many of them giving some reason or the other" 

"In any case, Marriage is not something that is mandatory. Both of us are well employed and can go to our dear "Heaven's Kitchen" restaurant whenever we choose to keep us delighted and satiated"  

"Yeah, and those girls who married face so many curbs on their freedom. Sad, when you consider that our gang was formed on the premise 'Living free as a bird' " 

"Leena and Sarita are tied down by motherhood with little time for themselves since they are also working" 

"Asha may not be a mother. But she is fed up of her possessive husband who frequently intercepts her mobile" 

In college, Lekha and Greeshma were members of the "Lip Smacking Foodies- LSF" all exclusive girls’ gang that had the twin objectives of 'Freedom' and 'Indulgence' of lip-smacking delicacies. Their interest in the boys came only third in the order as a result of which they were looked up to with envy by most collegemates. Lip smacking delicacies and the freedom to go after them anywhere and everywhere seemed to be their motto. 

The connection between the LSF members started long before they started college or formed the LSF. As children, all of them grew up in the Hindustan Aeronautics Limited (HAL)company’s township as their fathers were executives in the company. In the self-contained township you had the post office, market place, company’s school, club, all in walking distance. Three of the seven girls studied in the company school while others went to other schools in the city. However, a common place of residence had built up a camaraderie and bonding right from childhood. They got into trouble even as children given their ardent love for food of any kind.

A colonel by name Prakash Mehra, who joined the company after retirement from the army, was allotted a bungalow which had quite a few mango trees. All the earlier residents of the house welcomed children and allowed them to have as much mangoes they wished to eat during the season. However, Colonel Mehra was furious when children came to pluck mangoes.

As they were forbidden, the children began to pelt stones from far away. This enraged the colonel even more! One day he fished out a gun and pointed it at the children and threatened to fire. The story spread and the parents were worried. They forbade their children to go anywhere near the colonel’s house. In any case the incident made the colonel very unpopular and not very long after that, he chose to leave the company. So, Greeshma and friends resumed their ‘pilgrimage’ to the bungalow during the mango season.

All the members of the LSF gang had one family or extended family member who were great cooks. A major part of their meets were over homemade delicacies. But they also set aside time to constantly hunt for new taste and enchanting restaurants. Their choices included Koshy's the hot favourite of old timers to the best of Andhra, Mughlai, American or Chinese food joints. Each of them contributed an equal sum periodically to a kitty that would then be used for restaurant hopping and trying out mouth-watering delicacies. The gang survived their higher education phase and even the initial period when they had all secured jobs. It was after the wedding of three members that the meets became infrequent and was now as good as defunct.   

“So, what’s new Lekha? Why did you mention this guy, Ajay?”

“Our annual alumni meet is due in one month’s time. It seems Ajay has confirmed that he would attend now that he is back from Europe, not sure whether it is Germany or France”

“How did he land up in Europe?”

“Heard he went for higher studies and has been working there for about six years now after completing studies”

“What course did he pursue there?”

“No idea. I understand he was very happy there and highly valued by his employers. Had to return due to dad’s illness as mom couldn’t handle it herself”

“Hey, how about going to “Heaven’s Kitchen” this evening?

Lekha gave Greeshma a high five in response. It was almost a week since they ate at their favourite food joint.

Two days after their conversation it happened. When she returned from work, Greeshma found a large food carrier at her doorstep in the apartment she lived in. Curious and surprised, she opened it to find lip smacking, melting in the mouth, tender chicken dish. As she ate with relish, she wondered who could have sent it? She spoke to Lekha, her mother and all the old members of the "Lip Smacking Foodies" gang. But none of them had any clue as to who could have sent the food.

This then continued as a daily routine delivered with precision timing, before the return of Greeshma from office. Each day had a different cuisine. If on Monday, it was Coq au Vin (chicken cooked in wine) and Ratatouille (vegetable stew), Tuesday it was Peking Duck and Dim Sum. On Wednesday, it was Pad Thai (stir-fried noodles) and Tom Yum (spicy soup) and on Thursday it was Hummus, Shawarma, and Mansaf (Lamb dish). By now Greeshma was excited, gave the news to the “Lip Smacking Foodies" gang members. The gang was abruptly revived with excited members, only this time it was almost a daily meet at Greeshma’s place!

The procession of food delicacies continued and included steak, grilled fish, pasta, and soups on some days and on others Pizza Napoletana and Pasta Carbonara, and even the Pakistani Biryani and Nihari (slow-cooked meat stew). Of course, there were many Indian delicacies as well be it the Mughlai Butter Chicken and Shahi Paneer, Chungdi Malai (prawn curry with coconut milk of Odisha, Andhra’s Ghongura chutney & other spicy delicacies, Chingri Malai Curry (prawns in coconut milk) of Bengal, Karimeen fry and appams of Kerala and many more!

The bonding of the “Lip Smacking Foodies- LSF" gang had never been better. Leena and Sarita began to bring their children along too with occasionally the husbands joining. The excited girls began to research the various dishes through the internet. They found out the history of how a delicacy was first invented and the countries it had travelled. The information about the food culture in their own country was itself so very revealing and rewarding.

The members distributed the job of collecting information amongst themselves and eating was a lot more fun when they also had a lot of anecdotes to chew on as they ate. The gang members felt it was payback time and, invited to dinner the family and extended family members who had once treated the LSF to some great food during their peak period.  The carrier that brought the food was quite huge and catered to all their requirements.

The gang also discussed old times and some of the adventures they had encountered. They once decided to try out a new restaurant in the outskirts of the city that boasted of traditional delicacies like Coorgi Pandi curry, Kori Gassi and  kori rotti. Asha had said that it was her treat for having got the fastest first promotion amongst the members. Leena who normally handled their common kitty did not bother to bring any money as it was Asha’s treat. They enjoyed the cuisine a lot but when the time came to pay, Asha found that she had forgotten her purse!

The gang went into a close huddle. It was rarely they encountered a problem of this sort as their regular restaurants knew the LSF and would have gladly let them pay the next day. But this was a new place altogether! “What if they refuse and ask us to go to the backyard and wash vessels?” asked Lakshmi. They finally came to a decision and it was “On your marks, get set, go!” The seven of them dashed like rocket to the two-wheeler parking area, got on to their vehicles and fled for dear life.

The next day, they came back to apologize to the manager and make payment. He was amused and said that he would have known from one look at them that they were not criminals. There was no need to run like that. As they recalled the incident with bits being added by different members, the mirth brought tears to the eyes of some of them. Seven-year-old Arun was surprised and amused that his mom Sarita had run away like that from a restaurant.  

Even as they were enjoying the food received every day, everyone was curious to find out the source of such bounty they were receiving. The problem was all of them were working. As Greeshma was living alone, there was no one to check as to who was placing the carrier at her door. Finally, Greeshma, Lekha and Sarita decided to ask their bosses an hour’s permission so that they can catch the ‘culprit’ who was placing the meal box every day without fail.

Exactly at 5.30 PM in the evening a young man came and left the carrier and was about to turn to leave when the front door flew open and three young women confronted him. The poor guy was flustered by the interrogation but was unable to provide any clue. He said his name was Selvaraj and was a delivery boy for a food chain. But this was a special request by a third party who said the food would be sent to his residence which in turn was to be delivered to Greeshma’s place. He hadn’t personally met the party; the deal was struck over phone and he was being given good money. Therefore, Selvaraj had asked no more questions and had promptly commenced his assignment which was to continue till such time he was sent the meals carrier.

The LSF gang let the guy go without torturing him anymore. Instead, they thanked him for the prompt delivery of the lovely food all these days. They decided not to waste anymore time on this matter but enjoy the bounty as long as it lasted! They took the carrier inside and was inpatient for the others to come in order to commence the feast.

Towards the end of the month, the meal time conversation apart from food included the upcoming alumni meet. It seemed that a lot more people who were in far flung areas of the country and the planet were expected to attend this time. The new president of their alumni association Ashok had taken the initiative to speak over what’s app to many who were not in touch for years. They were happy and agreed to join the alumni meet this year. There was lot of expectations and excitement in the air!

The LSF gang had agreed during their dinner conversation that they would create a bang at the forthcoming alumni meet. It was an opportunity to announce to the world their revival as a great gang, beating the ravages of time and circumstances. It was agreed that all of them would be dressed in pink and would travel to the venue on their old two wheelers reviving the memories of the past! Alumni members began to arrive one by one to the decked-up venue of Hotel Le Meridian. The LSF gang made their appearance together in full strength. There was so much of bonding and excitement in the air. Some of them were meeting for the first time after they left college.

The alumni President Ashok welcomed the gathering. He said this meet was special as members who have never attended the meet have come from places such as Nagaland, South Africa, Greece, Madhya Pradesh, Singrauli and US . Then an opportunity was given to those who had come from far away to address and share their feelings on meeting their classmates. Archana who had relocated to Indore after marriage was almost in tears when she said how much she missed her former classmates. Similar sentiments were expressed by John who related how US was a land of opportunities at the time of his going there but it now seemed polarized as there are some who resent the ‘foreigners’ taking away their jobs. Gokul shared about his life in picturesque Nagaland while Prasanth explained the challenges of working in a coal mine in Singrauli. Arti shared about her life as a teacher in Cape Town and Rakesh about his work in the tourism sector in Athens.

Ashok then took over and as the president announced that everyone who had come from afar have had their say but there is one person who is presently living in the city but was till recently in France. “Let us invite Ajay, our classmate and presently the chief chef at the Taj to say a few words on this occasion after which we will break from formality and bond over drinks and food” The girls of the LSF gang glanced at each other knowingly.

Ajay explained the circumstances under which he had to return to India, to take care of his father. “Of course, there is one more reason. I have been closely following the life of one, entrenched in my heart for a long while. I have been longing to meet her once again” he concluded. As soon as he finished his talk Ajay walked across the room to where the LSF gang was seated. He confidently went to Greeshma, took her hand and asked “Tell me dear, how would you like to marry a chef? A pretty good one at that, I assure you!”